This past month, I have been lucky enough to have been vacationing in Lebanon, a small country in the Middle East that nobody seems to know but to which I proudly point as my heritage. Home to arguably one of the best cuisines worldwide, more than 7000 years of rich history, and some of the craziest yet most lovable people you will ever meet, Lebanon has always had special spot in my heart. Even so, I have never loved this country more than now, having experienced a month living here.
As for the Lebanese people, I have never seen people so courageous in my life. Unfortunately due to its location, Lebanon has often found itself in politically unstable situations and often war. The Lebanese have had to live with instability to the point that they can handle anything now - they know how to survive. In a film I recently watched about the Lebanese Civil War, called West Beirut, there's a scene that I think perfectly illustrates the Lebanese attitude towards disaster: it is the first day of the war, people are scared, army vans are going through the streets, bombs are falling, and out comes a guy with a trolley selling glass as if it were a regular day. For the Lebanese, life goes on.
As for the country, it is almost so dysfunctional that it functions. Coming from orderly, planned Canada, one may not understand, say, how crossing the street could be the most dangerous part of your day, or how one might come to be in a touring bus on a winding mountain road and nearly get stuck going around a tight corner. Another shock might be how rules of the road are treated as suggestions rather than rules.
After observing this country and all its eccentricities this past month, I am proud to introduce my Guide To Lebanon, a very valuable tool should you ever decide to travel to Lebanon!
The first section is dedicated to driving, for driving in Lebanon is unlike anything you have ever seen before. Guaranteed.
1. To cross a street in Lebanon, be aware that there are no crosswalks. To cross, simply walk into the oncoming traffic fearlessly. If cars honk their horns, simply ignore. Similarly, if you are driving and some stupid pedestrian crosses in front of you, honk your horn. Throwing your hands up in the air dramatically is up to you.
2. Following the rules of the road is optional. For instance, red lights are sometimes optional, as are speed limits. The other day I saw a truck drive through a red light through heavy traffic, then presumably it realized it was going the wrong direction and backed up into the intersection and turned right instead. Only in Lebanon.
3. Be aware that there are rarely numbers on buildings in Lebanon. To get directions somewhere, people will tell you "turn left when you hit the supermarket, then drive a couple of blocks until you see a poster on your right...". I even saw a sign once for a garage sale that was a hand drawn map, with an arrow saying "the garage sale will be here". Similarly, business addresses are sometimes merely "Bliss Street".
4. If you're ever stuck in traffic, which will most likely happen very often, be aware that people might come walking through the traffic selling stuff ranging from perfume to mops. Buy them at your own risk. Similarly, I once saw a guy get out of his car while stuck in traffic and start selling nuts and fruit from the trunk of his car.
The second section of the guide is dedicated to all other aspects of Lebanon.
1. Be aware that everybody smokes in Lebanon, everywhere.
2. If it's World Cup time in Lebanon, be aware that the Lebanese are a tad bit ...obsessed. The night of the final, people were driving through the streets with passengers leaning out of the windows bearing flags, honking their horns repeatedly, singing in the streets, cheering...
3. Be aware that the Lebanese operate on a different clock than the rest of the world. Nothing is ever on time. Ever. It cannot be explained, it simply just is.
4. Chances are that (if you are Lebanese) for every person that you meet, you are either related to them, albeit distantly, or your aunt's friend's sister's colleague's son's fiancee knows them.
5. In Lebanon, no price is ever final - chances are, it can be bargained down to half its price. If you can't bargain, there is also the possibility that the clerk might sell you his or her own product that you are looking for for half the price. For example, my parents were looking for a cheap cell phone to use while here for two weeks and didn't want to pay the asking price at the cell phone store. At this point, the clerk helping them offers them his own phone for a very cheap price. Only in Lebanon.
6. Arabic-English translations can be ...special. Take, for example, the words "merry cream" (a type of ice cream) and "monosex" (a unisex store).
7. You will realize quickly that although they are a tad bit crazy (see section on driving), the Lebanese people are some of the nicest people you will ever meet. Don't hesitate to ask them for directions or anything you might need.
8. Officially, Lebanon is bilingual with the official languages being Arabic and French. What's amazing about Lebanon though is that it is in essence trilingual - everybody speaks Arabic and either English or French, and you can find signs in all three languages.
9. Whereas in North America, the cure for any sickness is chicken soup, expect a different cure here: rice and yogurt, or "ruz oo leban" in Arabic. The Lebanese swear by this dish - the other day when I was feeling sick, we went to a pharmacy. After producing some medicine, the pharmacist told me for the next few days: "No fruits! No vegetables! No meat! No falafel! RUZ OO LEBAN ONLY!!!" It works, too!
